As usual, i've been really busy with things, not only school but also hanging out with friends.
I've been hanging out a lot last month, I like to hang out with friends but I really don't like to go home late, cuz my mom will get worried and it's not safe at all to walk home at night alone
Also I'm not really doing well at school. my university life started in September, but I still got 0 studypionts:O I know..it's bad! If I could turn back the time, I wouldn't let this come so far.
I've been really lazy lately, if I didn't feel like to go to university I just skip lectures, like it's non of my business. It gives me a really bad feeling so I tried to ignore that feeling most of the time, that's why I never felt guilty when I skipped lectures.
I've been shopping a lot, I know that I stopped updating my hauls and that kind of things on my blog...but one thing is clear..I never stopped buying things
Money just disappears...Somethimes on a daily basis(!!)
That's also the reason why I had to work a lot for these expenses, which detriments my time for studying....I tried not to admit this fact, but now I have to face this problem, cuz just like I said...this is a FACT!
I made up this excuse when people ask me how I dealed with this problem ( work and study)
I always give them this answer(my standard answer): Being tired can be defined in two ways: physically tired and mentally tired
When I'm physically tired doesn't means that I'm mentally tired and when I'm mentally tired doesn't means that I'm physically tired!
Studying makes me mentally tired, but not physically tired, so why not spend the time for my head to rest for working? Cuz I don't have to use my brains when I'm working! kill two birds with one stone! my body and my brain can rest in at the same time
But I cannot use this excuse anymore, because when I'm tired, means that I need to rest, whether I'm physically tired or mentally tired
Lately I've been very stupid, I wasn't really taking care of myself. Before Christmas I went to lasergame with my colleagues.
I was playing the game really fanatic, I didn't now what I've done, but I ran into a wall(it was really dark!)and I fell...
I bruised my ankle, it got really thick and it hurted like hell!
I couldn't stand on that foot, so I went to the first aid at Christmas eve
They took a photo of it, made sure that my ankle isn't broken
I had to walk with crutch for 3-4 days....I hated to walk with that thing!
But now it's alright, I don't need them anynore
Futhermore, I have to loose some weight.....cuz I don't feel well now....I seriously can feel the fat
I gained like 8 kilo's in the past 4 years...I think it's time to get back to that weight start from now
I've been complaining about my life....
cuz it really sucks, this isn't the life that I wanted/expected featuring all these failures of mine
So I'm definetly looking forward to 2011
A fresh begin and a better year to be
Here are my goals for 2011
1. I want to succeed my study, no more skipping lectures, good grades and always doing my best! No regrets!
2. Save more money and make more money, eventhough I know it's difficult, but still....
3. Loose some weight(>5 kilo's)
4. Get my Dutch drivers licence before my 20th birthday
5. Learning Korean language
6. No more failures, I want to be more confident in myself
7. Be more independent
8. I want my grandma to get better so that she can say goodbye to all her lung cancer cells
9. I want to get rid of my acne scars, on my face and back
10. I want to have somebody to love me from head to toe, just the way I am, including all my inperfections and failures
And last but not least:
I want my family and friends to be safe, healthy and happy
Say bye bye to the bad behaviours, laziness, mistakes and sad memories.
New year=new chances=fresh start=better life
Be greatful with what you have, always looking forward and let the past stay in the past, take the good memories of 2010 with you and let us rock 2011!!
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